From learning to leading

I came into the school newspaper as a bright-eyed freshman in a world of upperclassmen. I don't think I really talked the entire first semester. Everyone was so prepared and professional.

Sam Jones and I worked as co-editors this past school year.

I felt like a guppy in with the sharks.

Of course, over time things got better. The big, scary upperclassmen ended up being kind, helpful, and supportive and helped me learn my way around things.

Then, they graduated and I got older.

And yeah, that's the cycle — I'm sure the same seniors who taught me had only been taught a few years prior by people older than them... they just always appeared more confident. What's the deal with that? Has the passage of time and roles not been so kind to me?

Sometimes it feels like a role reversal I wasn't prepared for. Who am I to be in charge? Even now, after a full academic year co-leading an entire newspaper staff, I can find myself wondering, "Is this really where I'm supposed to be?"

There's a weird dichotomy in my heart. At times, I'm confident that I'm a natural-born leader and I'm in the perfect environment to do so. Other times, I feel like an imposter, wondering if I'm just regurgitating the same information that I was just taught not that long ago.

As I've grown over this last year as co-editor in chief, I've come to realize that that might just might always be a part of my life. But I'm choosing to turn it into a strength rather than insecurity.

Even though I may worry about leading, I know I can teach people how to write better articles, interview well, or make more creative page designs. And even though I might wonder if I'm doing well, I know how to be kind, personable, and care for others.

So, rather than trying so hard to fit the role of "the leader," I'm simply trying to do what feels most comfortable and natural — helping others.

When I'm editing someone's story, I'm helping it get better. When I'm directing someone how to cover a story, I'm helping them know how to approach it best. When a section editor comes to me with a problematic staff writer, I'm helping them handle the situation.

I don't want to be the dictatorial rule. Honestly, even if I wanted to, I don't think I could. There are far too many people on staff to try to micromanage every decision made anyways.

And for whatever it's worth, I think that's worked pretty well for all of us.

I'll be the first to admit, there have been ups and downs. Coming into the fall semester after a 5-month break and huge changes to our paper, we were practically completely reorienting our entire staff. Then, with COVID and an election year, we were swamped with coverage the first semester. If we didn't have enough to adapt to, we had several large changes in our main staff mid-year.

Yet, standing on the other side of this school year, I'm looking at a #2 ranking by the Intercollegiate Press Association in Division III and 15 placing awards for our staff.

Better yet, I'm looking at a staff that works together selflessly, diligently, and with a dash of humor.

However, most off all, I'm proud that I think they could they could do it again without me. They've learned, they've grown, and they've conquered in their own regard.

Of course, they won't have to do it without me for another year... but I'm really excited to come back for round 2, knowing what worked worked well and how we can get even better.

Here's to senior year.

During our last production, we took a selfie to commemorate the year.